Readings for Week 5
Chapter 3 of Brainstorm was distributed in class before break and should be read by 2/23.
The Breath Awareness Meditation we did in class on Monday 2/23 can be found here:
http://www.drdansiegel.com/resources/everyday_mindsight_tools/
Breath Awareness
August 05, 2010
Dr. Siegel leads you through a basic reflective practice.
http://www.drdansiegel.com/resources/everyday_mindsight_tools/
Breath Awareness
August 05, 2010
Dr. Siegel leads you through a basic reflective practice.
Psychological Development
Through the Dependency Cycle
Ann Wright, MSW
Developmental theory looks at many aspects of human development. One of those aspects is how human beings move from a state of total dependency in infancy (symbiosis with a nurturer) to the mature state of interdependence with others in a healthy adulthood. What follows is a quick summary of the stages dependency goes through in a healthy personal development.
Dependency (symbiosis) begins in utero where the fetus has only the mother’s resources to build a body for her/himself. Each infant is powerless to secure basic physical and emotional needs, and is thus dependent on caregivers for those needs.
As the child develops competence she begins to attempt to secure things for herself. This maturing form of dependency requires a negotiation with the people who have been providing physical, psychological and emotional needs for the child. As autonomy develops there are transmutations of dependency. In toddlerhood children go through a healthy phase of counter-dependency where “no” is the operative word for the child. “Me do it” is another frequently heard phrase. When the child succeeds in doing the thing for herself she gains independence. As the child grows up and has to master new skills and abilities we see the movement between dependence, counter-dependence and independence recurring.
This independence is not, however, the final evolution of relationship. A final maturing of this dynamic for humans is the development of a competent form of interdependence in which we see the person who is whole and competent in herself engaged with others who are also independent to achieve goals, relationships and tasks that require co-operation, sharing and respect. Mature love relationships, business partnerships, friendships all require a state of interdependence. Heck, getting our cup of coffee in the morning is a miracle of interdependence.
For some people the lack of dependable nurturers in childhood, or the lack of ability to develop sufficient competence while growing up derails this process of development. Some of those people get stuck in a cycle of dependence/counter-dependence. These folks enter relationships with people from one side of this conflict or the other. They may assume a position of dependency and rely on the “other” to fulfill material, emotional or psychological needs for them. Or they may, conversely, challenge potential friends/lovers/business partners from a counter-dependent stance wishing to have autonomy but without the skills necessary to support the project (be it love, friendship or business).
Another inadequate developmental solution is called co-dependency. The term came out of the treatment literature for alcohol and chemical dependency and referred to the relationship between a person dependent on drugs/alcohol and that person’s enabling family members. It describes a relationship where behavior in support of the person with the problem, operates dysfunctionally to keep the addict and family system limping along without stopping the primary addiction. In this case, responsibility is displaced from the person with the addiction onto the other members of the system and those people over-function in their roles to make up for the lack of function by the addicted person. This makes the whole system dependent on the addiction.
Through the Dependency Cycle
Ann Wright, MSW
Developmental theory looks at many aspects of human development. One of those aspects is how human beings move from a state of total dependency in infancy (symbiosis with a nurturer) to the mature state of interdependence with others in a healthy adulthood. What follows is a quick summary of the stages dependency goes through in a healthy personal development.
Dependency (symbiosis) begins in utero where the fetus has only the mother’s resources to build a body for her/himself. Each infant is powerless to secure basic physical and emotional needs, and is thus dependent on caregivers for those needs.
As the child develops competence she begins to attempt to secure things for herself. This maturing form of dependency requires a negotiation with the people who have been providing physical, psychological and emotional needs for the child. As autonomy develops there are transmutations of dependency. In toddlerhood children go through a healthy phase of counter-dependency where “no” is the operative word for the child. “Me do it” is another frequently heard phrase. When the child succeeds in doing the thing for herself she gains independence. As the child grows up and has to master new skills and abilities we see the movement between dependence, counter-dependence and independence recurring.
This independence is not, however, the final evolution of relationship. A final maturing of this dynamic for humans is the development of a competent form of interdependence in which we see the person who is whole and competent in herself engaged with others who are also independent to achieve goals, relationships and tasks that require co-operation, sharing and respect. Mature love relationships, business partnerships, friendships all require a state of interdependence. Heck, getting our cup of coffee in the morning is a miracle of interdependence.
For some people the lack of dependable nurturers in childhood, or the lack of ability to develop sufficient competence while growing up derails this process of development. Some of those people get stuck in a cycle of dependence/counter-dependence. These folks enter relationships with people from one side of this conflict or the other. They may assume a position of dependency and rely on the “other” to fulfill material, emotional or psychological needs for them. Or they may, conversely, challenge potential friends/lovers/business partners from a counter-dependent stance wishing to have autonomy but without the skills necessary to support the project (be it love, friendship or business).
Another inadequate developmental solution is called co-dependency. The term came out of the treatment literature for alcohol and chemical dependency and referred to the relationship between a person dependent on drugs/alcohol and that person’s enabling family members. It describes a relationship where behavior in support of the person with the problem, operates dysfunctionally to keep the addict and family system limping along without stopping the primary addiction. In this case, responsibility is displaced from the person with the addiction onto the other members of the system and those people over-function in their roles to make up for the lack of function by the addicted person. This makes the whole system dependent on the addiction.